undecided for now. x)

2006-11-19T02:53:00.000-08:00

I'm usually a very heavy sleeper. I rarely have dreams. But when i do, they are so vivid, yet so blurred, so clear and real, yet so subtle and surreal.

I had a dream recently. But i could only remember the last part. I was on top of a building, and the sun was setting. I squatted, leaning against a wall, a drink in my hand. (If im not wrong it was a tiger. no i haven't been drinking recently dont ask me how it got there and why is it a tiger not something cooler like a vodka or martini). I was looking at the sun setting, falling below the skyline, obstructed by the skyscrapers in front of me. And for some reason i do not know why i felt real sad and down, as if I know I'll miss the setting sun. For some reason that me in the dream probably knew the sun would not rise again. And might he be right? I certainly hope not.

idontwantittoendjustlikethis.rememberourpromise?itsnotfufilledyet.youstillowemealotofthingsandsodoi.iwanttobeabletoreturnthemall,notjustforgetaboutitjustbecause... ...

2006-11-12T23:26:00.000-08:00

heh lazing arnd, nth much to do. waiting for my rahxephon and fma to finish then i'll have something to occupy myself with. finish FLCL. mindblowing. the pace, the story, the comedy, the soundtrack, totally ownage. and the pillows are damn cute. the mtv. got teddy bear somemore. gotta give these old rockers some credit for ride on shooting star. go watch FLCL if you havent.

i need rahxephon, spiral manga in english preferbly. i guess i'll borrow eva from ray to watch how much of a loser shinji is =D. and i need to find GS stargazer online. cant seem to do so.

totally bored. my days revolve around sleeping, the comp, eat, eatch tv, music and sleep. sian la. i wanna go out for some fresh air. and my comp no space for games le. not that im in the mood for games is just that im really really bored.

and you anti-ncc bastards you better make damn sure you keep your online activities anonymous. if i ever get a whiff of who you are, you better fucking pray that you dont go home alone, or stay around too late in school. just because we're good doesnt mean you need to be jealous of us, and making an email acc ncc_totally_sucks on msn and say hi and bye to us. if you have a problem with us, go approach our usm, ausm, or any members of the partc training team. alternatively, you losers might want to get a life, get some guts to face the 32 of us in real life. your guerilla tatics online doesnt hurt any of us, it just makes you a shamless, gutless, ball-less bastard who doesnt dare to approach us withing a 2m radius when we are in more than groups of 3, and shout in the face ncc sucks. in the 32 of us, we bet you that we have people who run faster than you, are smarter than you, does more push ups than you do, and practically anything you're good in, you'll probably find someone who owns you like shat in the 32 of us. if you're not too happy with that comment, maybe you'll like to go to the bunk near your old proed sec 2 block on wednesdays and fridays and settle the matter diplomatically with us. diplomatically. yes, diplomatically.

2006-11-07T02:36:00.000-08:00

havent updated in like for ages. just woke up. didnt have any anime to chiong or manga to read. so just blog here lor. nothing to do so i blog or else is procrastinate de.

morning, pt. the one legged pumping is a new sadistic weapon for torture i think. not only your hand will feel the weight, your ankle, thighs, and back will feel the strain too. i got a cramp at the ankle yet you cant put down. dont see the point in the one leg pumping, to be frank.

then alot of pull ups, rifle pt later, go air rifle range. kenna niao. no armstrength. I bet you my arse that we have armstrength equivalent or that exceeds air rifle people, but its just that we've been doing some very "light" pt before we were shooting...

kau i really need to get new glasses soon le. then low lighting agstimatism somemore. kau best score about 30 out of 50 only. sian la demoralise myself for shooting comp only. never mind shall leave my rage for massacre-ing the figure twelve on thursday.

started the training on friday. really running late le. one week. lets see what we can make of this. last yr part bs went home empty handed. I'm not gonna allow that to happen, especially I know i can shoot a 19, renjie a 20, yu xuan at least a 16, and jun kiat a 16 too. We're not gonna let you fucking shit noobs trash us. no way.

I didnt get promoted in camp. I think i do know why, but personally i think i do deserve it, at least more than the others. At least i was a part of charlie. dam zai charlie. but somehow i got over it very soon, kp, swear like hell one day, sleep one day, got phone call for shooting comp the next, and this spirit... came back.

somethings you can accomplish on your own, somethings you cant. we're in the ep3, not because we are weak individuals who cant get into judo, track, air rifle, etc etc to win the school medals and etc etc. We came here, sacrificed individual glory and goal, but in hope, that when we get the biggest prize, the joy, would be shared among all of us, greater than savouring any individual accomplishments.

Part [B]' 06 is [U]nder extensive training for a [C]ommon goal. For Honour and Glory.

2006-10-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

wahaha FOS is ji crap. sec 1 lose to ispark im like wtf.... but if only they let us sec2 play football.... seriously i think our soccer dam gay. lionel me bin hao daryl not very good also can own aphelion, chunk akilan karl shui kun not bad... shunzo derek yi zhang clement is also not bad de, then larry... lol larry suck cock la. But play friendly against proed sec3 (aran... wtf) then i realise my sweeping only limited for street. should have played right forward. i missed 3 clearance like robinson like that miss-kick. robinson-esque sia. lost 1-0... but aran then proed alot soccer team one so ok liao la. karl makes a good wingback. hes quite fast, then he cover for my missed clearance i also very thankful. he only cannot use head to clear only... lol. aki a bit soloist then always kenna harrased. let chunk and sk be playmaker very fun de. larry a bit fei de la. left wing. lol. long ball to him he miss control. i thought he plenty of tricks to show off his "larry-henry" control de.

oh ya then play street at volleyball court coz sian only play 1 game. wincoln is gay man. no wonder hes in the soccer team. he can dribble past the whole opposition slowly just that his shooting anyhow place then he anyhow shoot. Then crouchy (proed de wu zi) was with me when i play with two diff teams. crouchy quite good. then i sweeper tian hui def for me the proed keeper + chunk and clement play first game. agaisnt yu wei. lol fcuking noob yu wei noob shit ahahaha! i pwn you! then clement pass to chunk chunk killer shot pwn sec3, including the 5star sprinter/ soccer pro yu wei. n00b!! my marking rocks my sweeping rocks i clear long balls to you even though you are 10cm taller!!! noob! thanks to me got clean sheet sia. thanks to crouchy and chunk our attacking very solid sia. (i anyhow clear can ma... got fence then no out. im sweeper for street games now!)

wincoln picked me and crouchy. then 2j kenna pwned by my keeper pro long throw then defender backheel own goal. then wincoln finally scores one i think. then win two game zao lor liao. timo and aaron up against me nearly couldn't take it. timo the bulldozer who smashes keeper fingers. lol. and aaron the anyhow keep my ball go to duchess road guy. lol. but 2g very physical. i like =D. no wonder derek hates playing against me and 2g. =D

woooo ortus night, my saikang paid off liao. proed council say kah kee hall = gg. but ok lor ortus pple complain food and temperature but both we cannot control. at least the events didnt suck. lucky desmond not there or yi kai confirm die. dam hazy from backstage with backlight can practically see dust particles floating about...

then go home. take 170 at 10 plus 11. got accident then jam. big mistake. whole bus full of idians going back to malaysia for diwali. i was like wtf everyone got festive mood sia. i tahan until market there faster alight change bus. 184 long bus at night very cold. reminded me of a certain bustrip with someone on a cold , double length 190. foggy specs anyone? xP

erm so ya stone until today lor. my FMA and Rahxephon still dl very slow. watch bleach and dn le. nt very interesting leh bleach. i dunno when got time watch the dn movie. camp coming soon le so i must train up and stuff.haix. sian hippos chalet confirm fail de lol. but i not cursing la wah lau.

erm claas chalet. councilors can "take care" of their class. which mean i will take care of 2H-THIS and JOI CHIA. ahhahahaha the king has returned to the building, and will make sure life is a living hell for 2 lucky individuals! no sarcasm intended! good luck this, you'll have one more yr of hell from me, lionel and zhong jin if we get into SM maths. good game.

2006-10-18T01:16:00.000-07:00

fuck. worked so hard for nothing. fucking disappointed at myself. english 74, chinese 73, IH 72. Its lucky i scrapped 75 for maths. if i didn't fight for that one mark...

and great. ortus night is so going to rock. and i got a deep gash at the wrist from a fucking rusty nail on a table. And i slept till 2 today. wonder if the tetanus jab still works.

I woke up at 5 plus, went to school to find out i dont need to go the fucking course. yes so you people just call in the afternoon and when the person cannot be contacted just stop calling...

and the fucking k618 went dead on me. fuck you. fuck.

2006-10-14T02:41:00.000-07:00

wooooowooooowoooooo EXAMS ARE OVER! that does it! we're free! training finally resumes! no more stoning and getting fat! WOOOOOOO!

But i have a niggling toe infection. it seems to be stubborn.

And overdue phone calls. i better get them soon.

although gprs on my phone is great when you forget to lock your phone....

i cant wait to see my bill this mnth.

And i chionged finish xxxholics le. 24 episodes only.

lets see. dnangel in 2 days, xxholics in 2 days, bleach 99, KGNE, deatnote 2, gundam stargazer 2/3, ehhsss cant seem to think of anythin else.

im bored entertain me

i wanna go jamming with timo. =)

i wanna get a part time job maybe?

i wanna get a new blogskin =)))

i wanna learn to cook like watanuki!!!!

2006-10-09T06:49:00.000-07:00

partb'06 jonjkun long long so long time, i'm still WITH YOU! [fuan PURASU PRIDE mune ni fly!] says:
i wan find someone who can do machine gun vocals like the high and mighty color guy
partb'06 jonjkun long long so long time, i'm still WITH YOU! [fuan PURASU PRIDE mune ni fly!] says:
if not i'll try
partb'06 jonjkun long long so long time, i'm still WITH YOU! [fuan PURASU PRIDE mune ni fly!] says:
[TimK: i don't need to be the king of the world, as long as i'm the hero of this little girl says:
lol
[TimK: i don't need to be the king of the world, as long as i'm the hero of this little girl says:
partb'06 jonjkun long long so long time, i'm still WITH YOU! [fuan PURASU PRIDE mune ni fly!] says:
i can do a bit high pitch rap
partb'06 jonjkun long long so long time, i'm still WITH YOU! [fuan PURASU PRIDE mune ni fly!] says:
lol
partb'06 jonjkun long long so long time, i'm still WITH YOU! [fuan PURASU PRIDE mune ni fly!] says:
but kok seng rap so zai i can go zi bei liao
[TimK: i don't need to be the king of the world, as long as i'm the hero of this little girl says:
lol i cant sing.
partb'06 jonjkun long long so long time, i'm still WITH YOU! [fuan PURASU PRIDE mune ni fly!] says:
i cant too
partb'06 jonjkun long long so long time, i'm still WITH YOU! [fuan PURASU PRIDE mune ni fly!] says:
dun wurry
partb'06 jonjkun long long so long time, i'm still WITH YOU! [fuan PURASU PRIDE mune ni fly!] says:
thats why we are drummers
[TimK: i don't need to be the king of the world, as long as i'm the hero of this little girl says:
hahahhaa

how true. i cant hold a tune to save my life. screaming maybe. but singing is definitely for those growling low low kind lol. makes sense what if we can sing we drum for what shit. lol.

i got deathnote epi 1 le! shall give near and that sadistic dunno-wadda-name girl a chance to prove to me they are as good as L... i quit the manga after L died if you remember...

tmr i get to sleep at home!!! =))))))) lub lit. xDDDD

mina-san ganbatte-yo!

2006-10-08T02:36:00.000-07:00

Guys, learn to be nice and not sarcastic and niao for a change. I've learnt my lesson. =(

please please sorry ok?.... I really didnt mean it... and well im like that so it wasnt that i changed or what... sorry k? please forgive me...=(

2006-10-03T06:24:00.000-07:00

exams is three days away. But this feels like the mood i'm having during psle leh. lemme recall, two years ago slightly earlier than the date now, i was kicking a ball downstair everyday, reading harry potter, not giving a shit about psle. lol. its the same now. now dun kick ball just log on comp and stone there. But at least im starting to warm up la. i finished my maths practise so i'm here but 40% i dunno how to do leh... my maths die liao la. Go sm my ass la. I confirm hp de liao. I wouldn't mind bsp though. aparently its much coveted ~~due to the shared camps with ny~~ opps slip of the tongue.

Oh btw i kena panelist for assembly today. I just want to say to lim wei dah(or was it? im not too sure) that YOU ROCK AS MUCH AS I'M NOT SARCASTIC YOU SO UN-SON OF A MOTHERFUGGER! lol. but also cannot blame you. You DID expect krison to post on emb right? You suck as much as I do mug thank you =)))
(if it was not for you i need to panel meh... knn next time be chairman more fun can ks like gayyyeeee)

then hsbc and polder they all meng kp me. dunno wad express.... go hong yourself la wad you mean? But kok seng's quite a nice guy. lol he got me converted. If he go css i'll support him lol.

Erm and.... yes I mug as much as joel's clever. Paradox: clever joel. (2H people read the emb msg ont eh survey, dl the pdf file and look carefully. exclusion status = 2 means what?)

Haha ks wan go css i wan be yuu-sama during ortus nite leh. but heng yang wun let me de. coz i drum and i dun think anywan from my class can... i learning pride.... i can only remember the first and last verse from the first rap only lol....

ikuzo WAKE up! to go michi naru mirai e saa!

then all i mumble and dot dot dot until

Purasu pride mune ni fly! lol.

see la i make such good use of my time that could have been spent mugging...

and i'm lonely. and you know why.

2006-09-29T01:52:00.000-07:00

i don't know whats wrong with me. I'm supposed to be happy, but i'm not. All these while i'm putting on an act, smiling everyday for all to see and i'm sick and tired of doing this. But, a person who's down doesn't show it, using emo to describe such a person is when he displays it openly to gain attention. So I don't know... something's wrong and I don't know what.

2006-09-19T05:19:00.000-07:00

haha last post nearly two weeks ago =DDD

okkays so for now i might get exempted for lit, maths is gg coz i remember my f9 in first term. For most of the subjects i need a final yr a1 to get a a1, dunno y coz i nearly max ace for all subjects (14, 13 that kind). I need a b3 to get a1 for lit xD. I didnt count op this term. I already have 11 over 3 terms. =DDD

Okays so i gotta mug my IH. i think i got b3 for science, not too sure, cant remember my module marks. So i think i can only get into smrp if i get a1 for maths... so maybe hrp ba. i like history but i hate doing it. i dun like geog but i think its a easy subject (partly due to mrs ann's notes. =DD)

Then that yellow hag... knn you wan screw over me then come fight lar. I got play ball in class. Zhi Chao caught w*nking in class more likely lar! jiao bin i 7.10 go for duty put soccer ball in drawer. hao can testify to that. the 8 of you (lebih edward mr zi meng hand and 4 unidentified ones) you all is no eye or you no ball? I kick ball in class? Orh. Can. Let me kick your balls lar. Im not f*cking paying a single cent for that f*cking door some joker spoiled and i'm not involved. Complain to ms koe lar is like i really got fault like that. I got hao lionel zhong jin to testify at the VERY least. I can testify zheren nvr kicks ball in class at least, the rest i dunno. I can testify that ding has so far not shown acts of violence that dmgs propertties. (btw dunno which f-ers sabo him. not that i care but the 9.... f*cking no eye or brain i dunoo...) Tambi really got damage property. He's as property damaging as he's a chinese (sorry la nick niao niao niao xD)! So conclusion, f**k off us, coz we did nothing. You wanna involve us and use some weird justification to let the rest pay less, we're gonna bring it up. If you really FORCE, tambi and I are gonna go write a psb complaint for that ya know.

ok i got a new phone, its pretty good, at least it has memory so i have my haikara collection on it already, and its rather kewl... k618... heh.

shall stop here, not much time, so i shall continue soon.... soon... yes soon...

2006-09-07T07:36:00.000-07:00

I'm posting at night. So it'll probably sound bad, considering my thought/mood processes changes when night falls/sun rises.

Real stressed. Now I'm at home 24 hours a day. And that means a lack of motivation to do anything efficient. Unless you count chionging tsubasa as efficient. In a real headache. Don't really know why but my strength and motivation for getting up early in the morning, schooling, keeping awake for lesson, stick my neck out just like the rest of my 32 brothers at training, it just disappeared. No longer do I see the simple joys of everyday life. I just find myself wanting to get things over and done with, but not putting in the effort to start them, avoiding them totally. My work's untouched. I suddenly have possesed this lethargy. Don't really know what has gotten into me this days. At this rate I'm going to fail my finals, screw up orienteering test, just screw up big time. I don't know what I want, don't know what I have, don't know what I've done, don't know where I am. I'm lost. Help me. Now.

2006-09-06T03:35:00.000-07:00

wah so long nvr update le. now then i realise. Hmm 29 august to now... oh ya teachers day and e celebration.

eve of teachers morning i go stone at e gate doing saikang for council and then after tt jay and i went for a briefing for a cip tt i can't go (got inspire to slack who wan go lbtr? XD) and then we went to wait for dunno wad retarded bus to jurong. The bus drove past us. after we waited for it for around half and hour -.- so the rich man's son (eh mai seng liao hor wah lim pei wu seh eh leh! xD) call cab and we cab dere. so the rich man's son bought a instrumental disc for chai. and till now i nvr share a bit with him xD. boh bian ma ren jia lau peh is loaded ma... XD
Then after tt we went to kfc to eat. he nt feeling well so he stone i eat. then qw, qr and ben wang came down. then wk and yh came down. chai would be at his centre at ard 3 plus so we stone from 12 to 3, relocating twice (kfc to jurong library cafe and then to food court where i was hungry again and ivy joined us.) wei kai and yh started some err bu thing. then they keep "wah xiao mei you dam er. ER BU!" then wait for lim wei kai er bu to finish his meal daintily then we went down lor. then dunno why dam hungry again -.-. at this rate my packs will degenerate into a huge lump eg.yh.

hmmm teachers day.. oh ya part activity. went bowling. at a country club where aaron got membership. bowling one game 1.50. dam shuang. so pia dunno how many games. then ben oh dunno where CONJURED up jay chou's hei se mao yi/suit, and went to pc bunk with bay bay and HSBC. HSBC go pc bunk dam fun, coz whole world pressing holy symbol. "h-s-h-s" of course being the humble boy he is, HSBC bowed to his worshippers. And my last game score dam pwn. pwn aaron and dunno who. but if i learn spin i own de liao. i hit all 9/ or 9- or 81 but got 2 strike. bowling dam fun when its cheap. XD

hmm then holiday.. ehehe. saturday. so memorable. but someone complaining about f&n orange on e hand leh. next time before i do tt tell me lor ^^ (dunno why everytime do something nice is either rebutted as too random, lack of creativity or expected. haix)

haha so everyday wake up comp eat comp eat. do hw/mug abit. then pia tsubasa and play red alert 2 when im bored.

haix. sian. i wanna go out. but cannot. =(((

hehe. tada!

2006-08-29T05:10:00.000-07:00

Days+Smiles

I still remember the days we shared,
upon the lovers' throne and the silver screen.
Held your hand as I walked you home,
now I wished i still held your hand in mine.

I still remember the smiles we had,
your infectious laughter etch into my mind.
Heard your adorable chuckle over the phone,
Those smiles, too distant, too far away.

I'm scared of forgetting, unwilling to let go,
of something that was already a part of me,
Yet something that didn't belong to me.
You appeared in all those bittersweet memories.

We went through all those pain and trouble,
to be left with nothing but broken hearts.
Now when I recall our beautiful tragedy,
I'll go through everything again, for those days.

I still remember those tears at night,
wept for a broken pride, an irreplaceble love.
But to put that lost smile back on your face,
I'll shoulder on and take you back to those times again.

If i could turn back time, I'll bring you back,
to those sunny days, build a boat with our love.
Strong enough to sail through the sea that comes after,
the sea which wrecked us, the sea called sadness.

Now we're back to those sweet old days again.
Days worth remembering, filled with you and your smile.
No longer an illusion; a beautiful tragedy, but a reality.
Take my hand and I'll hold it through our days ahead.

Those days full of your beautiful smile;
those days when we couldn't take our eyes off each other.

Thanks for giving me this second chance,
for you are already a part of me.

-end-

2006-08-22T06:05:00.000-07:00

I miss you. I wanted to spend a tomorrow with you
That was different from yesterday
Even if all words disappear
There’s something I want to tell you

Where are you now? I’ve been looking for you
All I can do is stand still and look at the stars in the distance
How many stars did I wish on?
I didn’t realise until I met you

I miss you. I wanted us to spend that different tomorrow
Being ourselves
As time began to speed up, I realised
That I have a love that nothing can replace

When I listen carefully I can hear the faint sound of waves
I always hung my head, but now I’ve finally met you
My heart has faith

I want to keep looking. At every bit of you
Your voice and your mannerisms and the times we spend together
We can walk this long, long road
Together, forever…

I couldn’t put what I’d been evisioning into words so I pretended to be strong all the time
But now I feel like I can say it, I’m sure I can

I miss you. I wanted to spend a tomorrow with you
That was different from yesterday
We can walk this long, long road
Together
I want to keep looking. At every bit of you
I’ll be by your side, gently warming you
Even if all words disappear…”I love you”

I miss you...

"I love you"

~With You - High and Mighty Color

awww... sho shweet..... but well the lyrics makes hell of a sense to me yeah. hope someone gets the hint. better go pack bag faster so can take a phonecall before i dissapear to a fcking camp. byezzz.

2006-08-22T05:32:00.000-07:00

Its just one of these days.... feeling pissed, dissapointed with myself again. where were you when i wanted to find you?

I'll keep a book with me, record down every single thing you said, every single smile you made. I'll tell you the things I dream of, the dreams that had you in it. But it all makes no sense now, for we have parted ways.

But then again, the thoughts of you are the only thing that pulls me through these hellish days; you voice is the only thing thats puts me to sleep at night so i dun mind going through all that trouble again.

to get you back.
-even if these hands are apart, i will never forget.-

2006-08-16T06:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes shouldering so much responsibility is hard enough, with school, class cca politics abound, making friends, fake smiles and just blatant backstabbing and politics it really tires me out. I'm sick and tired of seeing things screwing up, people not giving a damn, while others work so hard for what they want but the rest as a group doesn't give a damn about it. I think i reflect. I know, therefore i work. But sometimes just holding up a show alone with a few behind you just doesn't work. And whats more those that are supposed to give a hnad, just throw insults, sneer, give mindless criticism, total show of uncooperation. Just because we lack the authority then this happens. I'm really sick and tired of this. Not caring, not mature enough to think. I really have a temptation to remove everything on my nick, for it means jack to these people. Whether you think, you try or you just lay there like an retard and snap at people at every possible opportunity with an insult you deem as a excuse, reason or whatever, i really don't care.

Stop thinking about what you want but whats right. The reason why we are stagnant, incompetant is because we don't have a common goal and why is that so? some are not mature enough to see that life isn't easy at all times. forget it i dun wanna offend people or get pissed myself with this.

At night, when you've just been through a bad day it feels lonely. This pure temptation to pick up the phone and the instinct of typing these 8 numbers, is really hard to resist. Sometimes i feel im useless. Am i too dependant? or i am too independant? am i too strong? or do i seek love and shelter. i seek solace in love, for i am a wanderer. But knowing that significant other might just have a day as bad as yours, as gruelling and endeavouring as yours just discourages myself. So whats right? what i want, or what i think you want? i'm just a plain mess lost in myself.

2006-08-14T06:43:00.000-07:00

yeah so i updated some links. oh crap i forgot a few again. next time then. i got a zuo wen to xie. screw yellow. screw hag. screw servants with name like ah xxxx. screw EoEH. screw lots of things.

oh a brighter note saturday was a day worth remembering, today 6.6k in 35m, 3rd in part, in orienterring comp so i gotta work harder on tt. hou shun cao cao beat me sia. kns.

2006-08-03T05:01:00.000-07:00

hehe im nt supposed to be very free now but im posting anyways so pat me on e head for being such a good boy. and to e pple you can link me again. im too lazy to ask for linky. well my grades are quite ok, but imk nt too confident about ace, ep3 life is getting tuffer, dont have time to go for track but i really dun care so anyways, part b 06 still quite ok, GOH for NDP06 but our drills quite sucky. my uniform dam sucky oso. argh long time nvr train pull ups now drop leh instead.

argh now for leisure play a bit of red alert or watch anime. speed grapher is nice. kimi ga nozumo eien is nice. BLEACH is FREAKIN nice. =)))

argh ok i'll go back to do mug my geog now so ciaoz.

-like the twinkling stars in the nightsky, hearts that have joined shall never fade.-

2006-07-27T05:11:00.000-07:00

nb. maths get a2. because of that bloody inequality. nbnbnbnb. nb. there goes my msg for maths. oh yeah not to mention aces... i think the only thing i might max is my chinese provided nghh gives me a perfect 5. maths might max, thx to mr fong for that kind 6 marks basic he gave. i get 3 i just need 1 more to max maths. i have 4 for science, 7 for lit, 9 for english, 15 plus for is, 0 for IH, i think 5 or 6 now for chinese, 6 at least now for maths. yar i think thats about it. and i failed history. AGAIN. am going to fail geog coz i act smart nb nvr study. im going to screw my physics seriously. and got nb oral test soon. and got chinese term soon. and got goh soon. goh... screw this up i wanna cry liao... nth ever goes right. rite.

but somehow i've managed to stay happy coz got kik ball and got animes to watch ^^. even if very quiet quite long le i still can tahan. =)

and yay pday coming soon. we screw this up then not only nb liao. yay.

2006-07-24T03:04:00.000-07:00

i really don't know whats going through your mind now. I'm really lost too. I don't know what you want, i'm not sure what i want too. Maybe someday we'll understand each other, for real.

i'mlostinthisshitagainbutthistimeisdifferentcozinoewhatiwantandimgonnahangintheretogetit.nomatterwhathappensi'llstillwantyouback.

2006-07-10T05:09:00.000-07:00

yeah the holidays quite fast ehhs... i ahevnt been blogging much. lets see holidays. ncc camp. chalet. go out ~~with dear~~. then nearly everyday bneto. then thats about it.

ncc camp is... wierd. if stan is reading this, you camp is weird full stop. lol ice cream for cadets? barbecue? yeah well weird but it worked, thx to jordy yong le kenneth darren and that giggly ic that nearly. NEARLY got screwed but staff zhiyi for luffing his ass out nearly all the time. camp veri fun meh i want to ask him... but thx to pple like JORDY we have a fucking cock section. hou shun is baptised B-O shun by yong le, jordy keeps cocking with me, ferris is ferry/fairy due to his mentorship of yongle and my section has natural hair after third day bunk check. oh ya and staff totally rocks man. the way he pushed us to show what we are capable of? amazing. salute to you staff!

ok maybe that was way to fucking short. but oh well lets continue. let see... chalet. my phone got stolen. chalet is fun with the right people. chalet is NORT FUN without money. escape rips money. WWW is a place for horny shitx0r like jun kai and yi kai. And maybe for those bunch of girls that tried to hit on us luh, except for gyx. lol gyx abit kp during chalet. ok wait. ABIT. my phone~~~~~. fux. and my phone bill that month was 117. 600 mins xD. phone spoil, lose phone still manage to call so much. siao liao lar. lol. And part a's are dam zai. kenji has a nice bag. lol. i like his bag. how i wish i had it. lol. (inside joke lar...)

Ok then the rest.... ahaha =P not saying anythin.... =)) tmr is pd btw, this mugger actually found time off his busy schedule to blog. be grateful!

ps. ord soon. goodbye to the bunch of familiar ncos again, helloe to uncertain future. goodbye staff, sgt nic, sgt gc, sgt sx. ok maybe not so soon. in advance. but not tt i want to see you all go lar. we still owe a lot of things to them =S

ps2. i delete warcraft. yes. im a mugger now. till i get into hrp or smrp then i'll call up jun an ks hou shun wl jw jd and co again....

ps3 im not going nationals. and i noe y. coz i noe where my heart belongs. ok where most of my heart belong to xP. sorry mr tok. sorry for your trust in me. =x

yeah thats about it. back to work. chillz.

2006-06-17T08:15:00.001-07:00

camp and chalet came and went, just like the holidays. they days whittle down, supposed to chiong ace become chiong dota on bnet. IM FUCKING SIAN NOW.
i lost my fucking phone. yes that retarded 7260 that crashes reguklarly just when i have finished typing a msg and is about to send. -.- fucking kns phone. but im really stranded without it luh. kns. i have my fucking imei and a fucking security lock. if u manage to fucking use it then u are a fucking hacker. if u manage to sell it.... then singapore's police not very geng leh.

argh starhub gives a fucking 100 dollar voucher. 100 dollar buy phone without contract is wipe ass de lar. a retarded 7260 is 300++ without contract. ccb. wad now.

haix. now i dun have a phone, some one can get online, it feels so weird. i can't feel your presence anymore. i miss you. =(

2006-06-01T06:46:00.000-07:00

you're the only one that justifies my existance. x)

2006-05-26T22:14:00.000-07:00

ytd last day of skool term.... fucking mindblowing. sometimes friends are everything you need. ehhs peng youz. you guys rox.

morning. take uniform stuff. bring soccer studs. check phone. puffy eyes. from ytd nitex. sent an sms. but i noe i wun get a reply... yet.

dad fetch to skool. kp kp somemore. but i switched off le. thinking about alot of things inside.

reach skool. check my studs. look at classmates. feel like shit the whole morning. fucking class. i have no idea why am i in 2h. except for those few i really are on better terms with.

8. fool around with them. i hate acting. but sometimes you have to. i nearly whacked someone up in the morning coz he was pssin me off whem i was in a bad mood.

9. have no idea where te past hour went, but use ur hands is none of my business now as i no longer am serving this retarded class. goes for recess. discusses with the team. zheren seems a little apprehensive at talking to me. but im fine with him now. really. but he now noes im on a short fuse.

10. just get the fucking eota started people. i am using the last of my concentration, my mood to await the days events. until nightime. yeah.

soccer was mind blowing. if only i could have played on. 2j lost. to us. the technically most gifted team in ortus loses to us, the underdogs. yeah no goal my ass. you want to ask the people if got proper goal post clement's behind half court goal would have scored? zhe ren tipped it over. im positive. my goal? i hit it over the cone. 50-50. ref says yes so its yes. 2-1. dun tok cock with me.

scored one lionel last minute ks one. zhe ren super gay as keeper. daryl super gay as defender. bin hao a little too quiet today. hunter very the carelss but meng. then lionel.... fuck lar he so fucking pro. then after i scored the first goal i played as a anchor. got me around how many goals you think 2j can score against us in a closed confined area? but my clearence waste a lot of time. 80% of corners and throw ins are theirs. but its alright. got zai defender can liao.

then 2k match. lionel not extremely fast, not extremely powerful, not extremely deadly, something of a third striker, but his fucking dribbling ytd was super gay. 1st minuite larry start ball. then we counter. lionel and i clear liao. then he run. 3 v 2. i was drifitn wide. he cut back and pass to me to first time in front of qiu lei. and i use my backfoot. the pass was quite fast but my trning didnt go to waste. we kids make lousy players coz our first touch is poor. not anymore. later i left after first half. then zhe ren hunter zhong jin came in to sub me and hao. they won it for us 3-1. aiya my team talented wad first in ortus in soccer now. xD

bloody hell with zhe ren on form lionel on form ask daryl camp defense ask hunter gay pple then i play everywhere how can we even lose.

then went off early for rehearsal for rsaf performance. a bit the sian. whole day was about waiting and sitting down. and got lychee drink oso. xD by now you would have realised my patience is wearing and is shortening down my post but i shall endure. xD

went to get report card after tt. fuck my english c5. sucks to u hannah. ng still quite alright. she meng spam my marks with assignment and compo marks so i got a good c5. lol.

so went to fall in, wear no 3 the pants is elffred de a bit de small but still can wear so nvm. and no3 with full stuff is fucking zai lar. wads2pid bedok view pds wadeva shit. we shall show you y hcincc is the COE for PDS.

but sit on aircon bus then sleep while waiting for permission for entry. then drill abit while waiting for part cs to come after drawing their m4 from hq. real ones. 6-7 kg heavy. do advance drills with that is knn de sian. lol.

sequence.

march in. pause. turn 234. pungfoo ending. 6 step recovery. mortar peacock. pause. tapping. xianping. slowmarkal tap wave.

7angle peacock. double right.

chingay. seagames. momo. slapping. dragon toss.

modified stupid. pipa. modified seagull (move to marker) balancing.

WAVE. pause pause zzzz...... princess recovery.

sungfoo. pungfoo (turn at 3, leg swing with hands at 5). 7 angle. march out.

yeah im the weakest there lar but im trying. hope i dunn cock that day.

then after that on the bus home we were cheering like fuck. although i was very moody and tired that day (i slept late and cried that day. of course tired after being worrking rigourously for 12 hours) . ytd i truly felt everyone's part spirit, sing jiehan's bdae song, cheering like we've been practising for ages, talking cock together, everyone feeling alive and up and together although its already 8 in e nite and the skool is pitch black. we played around, catching jiehan to give him his bdae present (hehe) eating mcchciken (mam's treat. thank you mam!) then went home at 10 on bus. stupid jaron pang seih me. nvm. but oh well hes going to have a long day today. so yeah. hope it goes well eh jay?

then walked home. took a call. felt loads betta. till now. my head is heavy and im tired but at least im happy. we're happy. thanks for everything, girl.

2006-05-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

haix soccer sabbatical dam funny adn slack. the coach has a lot of "confidence" (but he dam pro, he has a right to. he used to be the midfield maestro in the 70s and 80s and he claimed fandhi ahmad goals are usually provided by him. good providing and a good finisher = goal, giving the old man a reason to hao lian. -.-) Then later went for trn, long time nvr train posture, acceleration everything cock up and wrong. dam sian i went 85% like tt for sub 15 8 sets i always got 14 PLUS PLUS. kp.

haix and someone is upset today. hope ya feelin better, someone is wanting you to feel better too. ^^ but well we all need personal space, and sometimes if you feel like keeping mum or wad its not ur fault.

the sand in my shoes, can't seem to be shaken off.
the numb in my legs, pain that is shooting off.
ruffle my hair, the watter and sand, matt.
i wake up on a beach, that goes on for miles and miles.
never ending, i run.
never ending, the sand and water in my legs and head.
the lightness feels new.
the load and burdens of my previous life, left behind.
walk free like i am now, but when will it end.
i see the storm clouds gathering, ahead of me.

2006-05-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

kauz. i feel dam down and sian now. wanna break away from all these stuff that binds me down. dam fcuked up and sian and attituded and everythin. just felt like abandoning all responsibilities i have a go on a journey where no one finds me. Im really very sick and tired of this life. skool, undone owrk, unmugged test, trnings, stupid trn that causes me unable to go track that will cause me to lose my 400 place. speaking of which, i want the performnce very badly but i also want my 400 dam badly. and now i fucking screw both. thats the best lor.

haix. i just wanna keep what is left of me, take those that i need, and leave. now its like theres something that is binding me down, and no matter how much i struggle i cant get out. And those things that i need, never there when i need them but when i have absolutely no time for these they pop out.

speaking of which now im gonna go broke, as things just keep poping out on my wishlist.

elec drums + new stix (mine is getting black)
ipod. ^^
new phone. -.-
slingbag. i wan my crumpler. -.-
slacks. i wan my jeans -.-
i need spikes, yeah spikes for trn and runnin.
i need boots as in those you kik ball with. yeah.
i need track shoes. the two pairs i have are gonna give way soon.
i need shoe bag to keep teh above.
i need time to buy teh above.
i need money to get teh above.

haix just suddenly feel angsty and frustrated and all. these are the days.

after my angel sleeps,
i weep, silently,
for what one ask.
for nought.
for nought.

2006-05-12T07:06:00.000-07:00

shall not alk about the rest of the things that happened since the last time i posted. not in the mood to talk about them anyway. im sad. wanna know y? coz im sick. ~~lovesick to be precise~~ almost 3 hours have passed.... but cant seem to concentrate properly on my work without you. my mind is filled with images of you only.... haix.... how how how? when will be the next time? =(

2006-05-07T07:30:00.000-07:00

haix this is another weekend that sux, full of work and projects but i never done any. had quite a field day playing games while listening to the ge results ytd.... haix chinese stuff nearly done but i dun have chinese software. maths project gg. hist/lit test gg. bio ace gg. haix haix haix i no motivation to do work lar. 3 weeks le. crap crap crap crap. i miss you. i really do. haix this SUCKS. gggrrrr hcr next term but luckily got camp. and still got sandra punishment for me. haix. i need someone to keep my mind off this. haix.

2006-05-01T04:37:00.000-07:00

-.- someone asked me to do something. so boh bian have to do. gahhh got threatened x) joking joking.

INSTRUCTIONS.
1. the tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment at their blog.
4. if you are tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to do this AGAIN.
5. the most important rule : HAVE FUN DOING IT.

haix. i you asked for it. xD

1. must not be taller than me. this is still quite easy. im nearing 180 for god's sake. xD
2. must not be more ego than me. i tio complain i very ego liao. if more ego than me = gg rite?
3. must be very extroverted. as in dun keep everythin to urself de. this one if you introvert then how i understand you. xP
4. however be sensitive and introverted when necessary. duh.
5. errrrrr sweet? rofl.
6. errrrrr just be a little more intiative. im tt reclusive type wad.
7. errrrrr not lian not nerd not mugger not erm extremely slacker (i slack to a certain extent -.-)
~~8. errrrrr dun have a pointy head small body big eyes small mouth look like a tweety bird. opps censor this rofl~~
8. eeerrrr seriously i dun mind looks coz im tt shuai myself. -.-

erm pass it on har. pass to hu nehs. pass to benjamin oh ~~sure 1 to 8 rachel soon de~~. (opps)

erm kaez just pass to ben lar nvm.

1. ben OH
2. jaron. but he doesnt blog. opps.
2. ding jie. but he tio liao so nvm.
2. foogey but his blog is not for personal use only for local context use de.
2. wei kai
3. you hao
4. JD
5. wei jing. but he so mug and guai de he mostprob leave it blank. so 4 pple oni.

sad lar i have little frens hu blog kaez!!! =PPPPPPPPPPPP

tuesday. a fun a slack day. hur hur hur

2006-04-25T04:40:00.000-07:00

yeah so today got blue moon. I went for trning. long time nvr go its chao hiong to me luh. so so so sian. and ytd chinese test. i left out one section. max 60 out of 80. zai boh? so dam pro luh. and now got a lot of buggers. ask for this blog de addy. but only a few noe. coz the others dun bug me enuff. bill havent come. i dam scared now. i predict 50 bucks. gg liao.

now let me go back in time. saturday. got frens jio me go out play. go bukit batok chalet. some random fren sis bddae. dun giff a ffreak. go upstairs play winning eleven. ac milan and arsenal 442 counter attack very fun. then tt day someone was making this skin for me in the afternoon. thx!! ^^. so saturday very peaceful din manage to dot. hand itchy oso boh bian coz no one.

sunday. tuition. drum fren bdae. supposedly lar duh. in the end drum cancelled. tuition test sux i sure fail de. so go fren bdae. whole day out again. no time dot mug test. but something happened when i was at lot one pizza hut with my fren tt day to celebrate his bdae. haha that really made my day. and i was grinning like an idiot in pizza hut anticipating msgses and stuff, eating wit one hand and talking absent mindedly to others.

so monday. triple test. very very sian coz nvr studay. and so its gg le lor.

today.. today is today lor. hiong is hiong but view not bad. ding must be jealous. i have legimate purposes to go de ok not like you. and anyways im not interested. or else later she scold me lol. XD ok ok joking i run without my specs you know so i cant possibly see anythin. but on the way home i saw someone... a few unhappy memories came back, but its my fault too. i dun think we can make up and be frens at all. yeah its my fault. i noe. but some how it seems like the memories are far away so it doesnt really affect me. its thx to tt someone special ehhs. ^^

kk tts about it. dunno wad sabb i going to though. i want aviation coz cant get into squash. T.T

2006-04-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

Day one, chapter one page one of a story we will be writting together. promise that we'll do all we can so it has a happy ending. thats all.

Back from the storm

2006-04-22T03:22:00.000-07:00

yeah im back from the storm. how true, the way things are looking up now. ok everything except for studying. now the thought of the things i owe makes me worry. x)